I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
