Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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