I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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