Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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