Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
