she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
