People in love make me want to vomit
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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