I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
