I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
