I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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