Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize