do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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