speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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