Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
