Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
