So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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