I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
