Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
