Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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(540): View more from Virginia

You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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(503): View more from Oregon

you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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(817): View more from Texas

So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again

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