Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
