I feel like abortions should bother me more
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
