I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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