Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
