Yo dont text me then not text me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
