i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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