he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
