dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
