It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
