YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
