Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
