Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
