the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
