Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
