oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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