this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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