it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
