This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
