honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
