Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize