...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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