She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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