All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
