we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
