How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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