yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
