She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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