I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
