OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
