I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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