If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
