Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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