i always forget guys have bellybuttons
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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