...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
