Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
