Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
