I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize