There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize