what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
