Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
