real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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