i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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