There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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