Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
