watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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